"If you can only see darkness at the end of the tunnel,
that could be because you're on the outside looking in."
Ramon Casha
A smile causes many problems to evaporate. Many problems which afflict our lives only exist within our mind, and having a positive outlook eliminates these, or at least makes them shrink to their true size.
Optimism is an important tool in avoiding depression - a major affliction of our times. It is the sincere belief in things being better. Whatever you have on your hands, it could have been worse and you can make it better than it is. It is a matter of attitude. It makes a difference between being grateful for what you got and being resentful for what you didn't get.
It is very difficult to explain to someone how to be optimistic. It is something inside us, although not something we are born with. Following are some guidelines.
The past is unchangeable. Get used to it. History is there for us to learn from, not dwell on. The "good ole days" are but a figment of the imagination. People who insist on how much better "A" and "B" were when they were kids forget that the rest of the alphabet soup tasted rather nasty.
The future is not here yet. We must plan for the future, sure. But we must not try to put off life until it arrives. It never does. Only the present arrives.
If it's inevitable don't worry about it. Some persons try to cling to a romance which has gone irrevocably sour. If it's irrevocable, let it go! Another example is people worrying about death. Don't worry about dying - it will happen by itself. To everyone. Yes, sirree, you gonna die! Maybe not for a hundred years yet. Maybe you will die before reaching the period at the end of this sentence. You didn't? Good. See how lucky you are?
Still, if something is really important, don't lose hope easily, either. In truth, very few things are utterly inevitable. It has been said that death is the only true inevitability, although someone cynically added that so is income tax. Perhaps the best example of quashed dreams but strong hope is in people who want to become actors/dancers/singers. There is so much harsh competition for those few spots on the stage that many young hopefuls give up. The people who do NOT give up hope are the ones who succeed. This refusal to accept defeat is what makes Europe the art capital of the world. Europe has a tradition of entertainment in the streets dating back many centuries. Mimes, musicians, dancers, singers, portrait painters, pavement artists, jugglers - every form of entertainment and art overflows from the theatres and studios to mingle with the people in the streets. They want to paint, act, sing or play, and nothing and nobody is going to stop them. Truly for them the world is their stage.
Sometimes things are not as bad as we think. Many times when we receive bad news we react really terribly to it. Consider the way some parents react when they find out their child has a disorder or condition. I once had to help a man on IRC who was feeling suicidal when he was told his son was autistic, because he could not believe that an autistic person can be 100% happy in life. In the film "Mr. Holland's Opus", a musician and music teacher discovers that his son has a total hearing loss. His overreaction causes him to treat his son as if he didn't exist, until well into adolescence. Perhaps because to him, a life without music is unimaginable. However to his son, cars were far more important. In both cases, the distress was caused because they perceived the situation was worse than it actually was. In both cases also, the situation was inevitable, and even if it could have been changed, being depressed wasn't going to achieve anything.
Consider the following song (part) from the musical Rent. These words are sung by an HIV-positive person, to his friend who is feeling depressed because the first is dying. The entire musical Rent is about optimism in the face of adversity.
There is no future, there is no past.
Thank God this moment's not the last.
There's only us, there's only this.
Forget regrets, or life is yours to miss.
No other road,
No other way,
No day but today.
(Finale B, from "Rent" by Jonathan Larson, © 1999 SKG Music LLC)
Copyright © 2000, Ramon A. Casha. Conditions of use.